when i say those words to someone, do I really mean it? i have experienced it...people being there for me when it really mattered. one of my favorite scenes of the movie "i am sam" is when michelle pfeiffer's(sp?) character tells someone that she's "here, i'm right here" when in actuality, she's somewhere else...she's not really there, present, willing...
when god says...I am with you always...i don't have a real grasp, understanding, assurance...it's hard to just have "faith" that is the case...sometimes i have the faith...but sometimes i doubt.
and then i think that is when he shows up through people...i have a friend who offered me her job position. she is moving on to something else closer to home. and she called me. this friend who was in my wedding, who was there for me when i had my first car wreck, who was there for me when i told her i was going to some 'cult sounding commune' in adams, tn called youth with a mission.
even though i told her one time that i liked her crush(we were sixteen), even though i said mean things to her, even though i decided i was too good to be a part of her wedding....i say these things not to demean myself, but to contrast. i know that some of them were out of immaturity, and a part of growing up. i have reconciled these things in my heart, and with her.
this friend called me offering me to come in for an interview...the manager was ready to talk with me...if hired i'd be taking her commission checks that she had earned, but wouldn't reap.
she's there for me. and she'd be there more if i wanted her to.
that i can grasp.
she's here.
for me.
now.
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