not very pretty...but I get by

someone thinks I should blog a bit more...well, here goes.

let's see what comes out of this brain at one in the morn'. I was thinking so much today about being pretty, being beautiful, and yes, even sexy...quite frankly i think those three adjectives are not quite as similar as one might find them to be in a thesaurus.

my state of mind has contained each three at various times. and even all three were today.

when going out to lunch with my office mates, I thought I was pretty...not beautiful, but pretty. pretty and confident in a dorky sort of way. I am never confident in that businessy ceo chic way. I am simply me....funny, silly, quirky...oh, so quirky oh, and don't forget absent-minded...and all the while feeling pretty while chatting it up about boys and the like...not feeling pretty cuz we're talking about boys, but because we feel pretty, we talk about boys(and other things, too!)

then there's beautiful....listening to people play music, sing their songs, and getting caught up in the moment, in the joy of their moment. that makes me feel beautiful. like listening to them makes me beautiful; strange concept I know.

side note: tonight, while watching american idol, natasha bedingfield was singing. she is beautiful.

lastly, feeling sexy was a very minute part of my day, but definitely happened to occur. compliments from an entire table of people definitely can give a gal a boost. red lipstick doesn't hurt either;)


in reflecting my mood regarding my own appeal...I realize that I feel based on my experiences around me....

I think that I want to really feel beautiful all the time. that's my niche. not because I think I am, but because I feel that way not based on my looks, but my connection and appreciation with my surroundings. it is the state of mind I like best.


maybe the next time someone tries to tell me I am attractive, I will listen. we'll see...