Tuesday, August 12, 2008

vision

Last week I admitted to my boss that I have no vision as to where the division of the organization that I work for was going. I did not know the steps it would take to get it where it needed to go. I was terrified to admit this, mainly because I felt as though at some level this was an unwritten responsibility of mine. Not because it exists in my job description but, because there has been a void as of late. Specifically, the division I work in is in "maintenance" stage. The tires have air in them, the oil checks are done, and the spark plugs are change,etc. But no new accessories are added like a GPS system, no body paint has been sprayed, nothing new and shiny, if you will. So, the question for me is am I good at keeping it at its maintenance stage. Am I good at my job?

This question of vision has been coming around a lot to me lately. I do not have a clue of where I will be after I finish school. I don't even know if anyone will even consider me, even after I receive my degree. My assumption is that the work and effort I am putting into going back to school will afford me a better paying career, and propel me into a life's work I can be proud of. The question for me is, what is that work? And can I begin it now before school starts.

The first dilemma presented to me is this: What field? Currently, I embrace all things customer service if you will. I think that my self-efficacy is high when I am serving others in this way. But, this new decision to go into the field of Sociology is serving, yes, but whom? Do I work with organizations who serve the poor or help the homeless, researching hopefully along the way how to improve peoples' lives? Or could I work for organizations that deal with adoptions, or the elderly.

Mostly, I look for inspiration. But, I have yet to find a specific field that I can see myself in every single day. That is the part about being an Aquarius that can be a little frustrating. We can become very passionate and then just as quickly lose that passion and move onto something else.

And it all goes back to my term for this season of my life: eudaimonia

I just want to find out what it is I am purposed here for, and that everything that I am doing is furthering me to that point.

1 comment:

Just J for now said...

Darlin, I believe you've found the ultimate human dilemma. I pray clarity for you as you sort through your many possibilities.